21 Tips: How to Overcome the Feeling of Loneliness
This post offers tips on how to overcome the feeling of loneliness. What research says about being lonely and the effects of loneliness physically and mentally. Ultimately, some helpful tips on how to overcome the feeling of loneliness one day at a time.
Come sit with me and discover how to overcome loneliness.
My heart pounded. My insides shook. I could not breathe. Every muscle had weakened. Suddenly, I was jerked into a nightmare. My husband, whom I had known and loved since we were teenagers, shared with me something life-altering. In a few seconds, the short statement turned my life upside down. My thoughts raced. I could not believe this was real.
This was the beginning of my story of feeling lonely. Along with those feelings of loneliness came the fear of being alone. This season significantly impacted my life, and it forever changed me.
I know every story is different. People experience loneliness for various reasons. You may feel lonely after a significant life event, a new move, or a season when it feels like life is moving forward for everyone around you but not for you.
Life changes, and this is not what you envisioned life would be like. Your experience of loneliness may look slightly different, but the result is the same: you are lonely.
It does not matter how much money you have or don't have, where you live, or your age. Loneliness can be all-consuming, and you may sometimes experience fear.
What does research say about being lonely.
Before we talk about some tips on how to overcome the feeling of loneliness, let us look at what research says about being lonely. Social isolation, feelings of isolation, and chronic loneliness can all impact your mental health as well as your physical health. It could lead to obesity, anxiety, depression, premature death, a heart attack, or a stroke, to name a few of the ways it can affect you.
The American Medical Association (AMA), which is considered a premier national physician organization, included an article, “What doctors wish patients knew about loneliness and health,” published in July 2023, that dives deeper into this. In June of 2022, the AMA even adopted a policy that identifies that loneliness is considered a public health issue. For a more comprehensive understanding of this topic, I recommend reading these articles, which are based on extensive studies.
If you are experiencing mental health problems or in a mental health crisis, there is a 988 National Suicide Prevention and Crisis Lifeline available in the United States, and professional help is available.
YOU CAN OVERCOME THE FEELINGS OF LONELINESS.
There is good news if you are experiencing loneliness. You can become stronger mentally, more confident, self-aware, independent and grow closer relationship to the Lord.
This season just might be part of your story. I know firsthand how difficult this journey is; this is real life, but you can transform your life one day at a time.
Take action today and try some tips.
Here are 21 Tips on How to Overcome Loneliness.
1. Communicate:
Talk with a trusted friend or family member about how you are feeling and what you are going through. Often, close friends or family are unaware of what someone close to them is going through. Communication allows you to verbalize how you are feeling. Spending time with someone you love can have a considerable impact. They may have suggestions you have not even thought of, and chances are, they will understand you.
2. Brainstorm:
Write down a list of things you want to learn or experience and brainstorm ideas. It is important to put your thoughts on paper. After you brainstorm and put your ideas on paper, go try something on your list.
3. To-do list:
This list is different than brainstorming. It is what you would like to accomplish the following day. In the evening, make a list of things you need or want to do the following day. Doing this the night before gives you an idea and purpose for your day. When you get up, your mind is ready for the day ahead, and you can begin crossing that list off. By creating a to-do list you have already pre-decided what your day will look like and it will shift your focus on the things you need or want to accomplish. If you do not finish your to-do list, add it to the next day!
4. Local groups:
You can research local groups you'd like to learn more about. A local group could be a service organization, a sporting group (like a pickleball group), a book club, or a church group, to name a few. Being involved is a great way to meet new people in your area. Becoming involved in a local community group will allow you to be part of a community of like-minded people.
5. Self-Care:
Take care of yourself. It begins with a simple act of getting out of bed and getting dressed. It is vital to have self-care for both your mental and physical health. If possible, get out in nature. The Mayo Clinic has an article, “The mental health benefits of nature: Spending time outdoors to refresh your mind,” written in March 2024, discussing these benefits, including loneliness.
Use your alone time as an opportunity to become healthy. Remember to eat healthy food. A healthy diet will directly affect how you feel. Another way of self-care is to practice relaxation techniques and to exercise.
6. Volunteer:
Volunteering allows you to try something new, find a purpose, and have a new experience, all for a good cause. When I felt alone and lonely, I volunteered at a homeless shelter. (I was a single mom of three kids.) I quickly realized I had much to be grateful for, which helped change my perspective.
There are many opportunities to volunteer and be a helping hand. Some ideas for you may be schools, nursing homes, community organizations, shelters, local sporting events, or at church, to get you started. Older people and young people always need volunteers. Oftentimes, they too are experiencing feelings of isolation or loneliness. You might be a bright spot in someone's day, and another great way to create new social connections.
7. New experiences:
Trying something new is fun. You never know what you might like, and we often seem to be creatures of habit, finding ourselves in the same rhythm of life, doing the same things repeatedly.
Trying a new experience each month was one challenge a friend gave me when I walked through this season of life. Think about some different things you might like to do. A new experience could be as simple as trying a new food, learning a new skill or as extreme as skydiving. Once you create your list, keep adding to it and start taking action!
8. Journal:
Journaling your thoughts, feelings, dreams, and goals is a healthy way to process them and become more self-aware. It helps with your mental and emotional health. Journaling is also a way to learn more about yourself. Write down or journal your most inner thoughts. You can use journaling for personal development. It can also be part of a healing process.
9. Support Group:
Maybe you feel lonely because of a life event. Support groups can help you deal with that specific topic, which may lead to productive conversations about the uncomfortable feelings you are experiencing. You can find support groups within your community or online.
10. Mindset:
Change your mindset or perspective and view your present moment as an opportunity. Charles Swindoll wrote a book, “Life is 10% What Happens to You and 90% How You React.” Learning how to change your perspective and embrace this season for self-growth. Take this time to relearn who you are. Practice positive self-talk. The person you see in the mirror is a voice that often tends to be the loudest in those quiet times when you are alone. Be kind. Give yourself grace.
11. Gratitude:
Have a thankful heart for all things. Take a moment to appreciate the things we often take for granted, like the sunrise, the sunset, food, and shelter. Train your mind to be grateful for the little and the big things. Celebrate and be thankful for what you have each day.
12. Read a good book:
Take some time to read and get lost in a book. You can read about others in a similar situation, learn something new, be inspired, or find whatever interests you.
13. Start Fresh:
Take this time to have a fresh start. Write out your goals and break them into steps so they are attainable. Start today and begin the journey of reaching your goal. In the quiet moments, big things happen when you are consistent, and you can transform your life.
14. Public Place:
Go to a coffee shop or a public space where other people may be sitting alone. You never know, if you go to a place regularly, you may find someone with interests similar to yours and become friends. If you experience social anxiety and struggle in social situations, try taking small steps. Make eye contact with someone as you walk by, and say hello to someone. Each time you do this, it is a victory for you and a time to celebrate. As time passes, you will become more comfortable in public places and will be shopping at the grocery store, and pass someone, and it will become a natural response to say hello.:) You might make someone's day!
15. Invite someone to dinner:
Having someone over for dinner is often overlooked. The table used to be a gathering place. Invite a neighbor, co-worker, friend, or family member and make someone feel special by preparing them dinner, dessert, or both!
16. Daily Habits:
This is a good time to begin daily habits and routines. Get a schedule. Being consistent is when real change begins. Be proactive. Create daily habits that include social interactions with real people.
17. Social Media:
Take a break from or stay off social media. Often, this leads to comparing yourself to others. Do you believe that everyone has a perfect life? Social media frequently portrays a life that isn't real life. Often, social media is staged. There is no need to go there mentally. Instead of social media, be with real humans in a natural environment.
18. Social Events:
Social events could include concerts, sporting events, dinner theater, or festivals. There are many types of events, and you can find them everywhere if you look for them. You can find one where you have common interests with people and go to it. Going to a social event alone can be empowering. You might enjoy it!
19. Therapy:
This can be from a professional therapist, counselor, or pastor. It is a safe place where you can develop self-discovery and insight and become mentally healthy. It is always a good idea to help you better understand yourself.
I am so grateful to my college counselor, who helped me understand why I responded to different situations the way I did. Also, my pastor, with whom I counseled while I walked through my devastating season of life. He listened and constantly pointed me to Jesus. I would not be where I am today without his incredible counsel. I am forever grateful.
20. Challenge Yourself:
This could mean learning a new skill, taking a class, or challenging yourself mentally and physically. You have alone time, so respond by finding your purpose or learning something new. Develop yourself and thrive. Change that mindset from being lonely to embracing the time and transforming yourself into a new, better you. This is an opportunity to become independent. It is time for self-discovery and learning who you are. It is a season to take advantage of and learn something new. Be consistent and watch how you will grow.
One way I challenged myself was by attending a swing dance class. I was not a dancer; I was actually told that I couldn't dance. It was a huge step for me to show up there alone. But to my surprise, I was not the only one who would show up alone. It was a community of people who had fun together and laughed. It was empowering to me on many levels.
21. Root yourself in faith:
Faith is the most important tip. Find a church home. I encourage you to go a step further and find a life group where people walk through life together.
Pray.
Read God's word, the Holy Bible. It is the living, breathing word of God. Get to know Him.
Listen to Christian music. Surround yourself with positive, encouraging music. Listening to music will change your daily life. We listen to K-Love, a Christian station, and have it playing in our home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Music is powerful, and what you have playing in the background can change your mindset and be encouraging.
There are many songs that are good. Here is a worship song that has been my go to song When I Say Jesus by Life.Church Worship another good song is The Father's Love by Life.Church Worship and I Am Not Alone by Kari Jobe. These songs are powerful reminders of who Jesus is and who you are.
When I began to walk through this season of loneliness, I had no idea where to turn or what to do. I had always gone to church and gone through the ‘motions' of the Christian life. But I learned to look up, with my eyes fixed on Jesus, and not to look down on my circumstances when life got tough. I learned to become better and not bitter. I cried out to God and sobbed, asking why me and where are you, Lord? Because of this season, I developed a life-changing personal relationship with Jesus, who became my best friend, confidant, protector, provider, and Lord of my life. I learned who He was. He did not create us to be alone. I was not alone, like I thought. He was with me all along, and when I looked back, I realized this was my testimony: “When the Lord Carried Me”.
Hebrews 13:5 (NKIV), “For he himself said, I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
He created us to be relational and to have a relationship with Him. For the first time, I experienced joy and peace that no man can take away. I learned that what we go through does not change who He is.
Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV), “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another…”
Overcoming loneliness is possible with these tips. I am living proof of it.
What tips will you try today to overcome the feeling of loneliness?
Philippians 4:13 (NIV), “I can do all things through him who gives me strength.”
Luke 1:37 (ESV), “For nothing will be impossible with God.”
I encourage you to take action and try a few of these tips to overcome the feeling of loneliness. It might significantly impact and change your life, like it did mine.
There is hope; hope has a name, and it is Jesus.
If you have never had a relationship with Jesus, believe, pray and ask Him into your heart. It is as simple as that.
A guided prayer for you:
Jesus, I know I am a sinner. I believe that you came to earth, were crucified for me, conquered death, and rose from the grave three days later. I believe you are preparing a place for me in heaven, and you will come again. I invite you into my heart to live and dwell with me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for being my Lord and Savior! Amen.
The next step is like meeting someone new. You want to talk to get to know your new friend and communicate. When you do this with the Lord, you pray. You talk to Him. Nothing fancy; just be honest and raw. He created and knows you already, but longs to be close to you.
You can get to know Jesus by reading the Holy Bible. I would suggest to start with the New Testament, the book of John, to learn about His character and who He is.
If you are a new believer, this will sound a little unbelievable. I never understood it until I experienced it. But the more time you spend praying and positioning your heart toward Him, your faith will grow. You will understand and begin to grasp who He is and the Holy Spirit, will guide you, and you will know His voice.
He will be a rock that will never move. He will become your best friend. He will never leave you or forsake you. He will be your peace, comforter, provider, and everything if you allow Him to be. Always remember, He is a God of choices. So the option is always yours. How close you are depends on you. When you seek him with all your heart, you will find Him. For me, being lonely changed my life and had an eternal impact. Although I would not want to walk that season again, I am forever grateful.
My prayer is that this season will make an eternal impact on you.
Embrace it.
Try a tip or several.
Take action.
Grow. Learn, and be who God created you to be.
Respond by discovering your purpose and coming out of this season stronger.
To learn more about the next step in being a Christian, visit my Grow Your Faith page.
Another post you might find helpful is Do You Feel Alone? 29 Powerful Bible Verses About Loneliness.
In this post, I pray you find value in how to overcome the feeling of loneliness.
“FAITH CRUSHES FEAR BECAUSE HOPE IS ETERNAL AND LOVE NEVER FAILS.”
